Planting the Seed to Talk to Your Sons About Sex

Planting the Seed to Talk to Your Sons About Sex

David Miller, Excerpt from the Raising Him Alone (RHA) Website

Direct Link: http://www.raisinghimalone.com/strategies_sextalk.htm

When discussing the topic of sex with your son, it is essential to begin with letting him know that you want to be able to have an open and honest conversation. The discussion should be developmental in nature, based on your son's age and level of maturity. While many moms would love to have a man around to talk to your son, the reality is that this is a conversation that can't wait.

Mother's should also stress to their sons that although it may be difficult for a boy to discuss sex with his mother, it's important for his own health and safety. Mother's should begin with suggested topics like good touch and bad touch, masturbation (touching yourself), being attracted to another person, kissing, oral sex and STDs. The following are four quick tips for parents:

1.Admit to your son that sex is a great thing - however, explain the risks associated with sexual content. Also discuss the importance of learning about your body and being able to discuss your body parts with your parents before considering sex.

2.Spend time making sure you and your son read about his body parts - It seems that many parents find it easier to talk to girls about sex than boys. Often, girls are given far more information about sex than boys. Things like having an erection or a wet dream are things that mothers must be willing to discuss. These items can't be left up to your son's peer group to discuss.

3.What are your son's friends saying about sex? - Perhaps one of the most important aspects of talking to you son about sex is discussing what his peers have to say about sex. This would include myths, slang terms and gossip. This vital information provides you with a better understanding of the information that your son is exposed to.

4.You can't wait for your son's father or a male friend to talk to your son about sex - Many mothers opt to wait for the father or another significant male figure to talk about sex with your son. While having another responsible man discuss sex with your son is important, you can't wait. With the internet and exposure to MTV, VH1 and BET, boys are bombarded with images of sex. Thus, mothers can't afford to wait for the male perspective.


Additionally, we hope that you will purchase a copy of Raising Him Alone: Things Black Women Can Do to Raise Boys to be Men by David Miller & Matt Stevens.

Copyright 2009 © Raising Him Alone. Reposted with the permission of David Miller, co-founder.


Raising Him Alone (RHA) is dedicated to researching, designing, and implementing a campaign to support the social well being of single mothers raising boys.

Through a series of intense community forums, workshops and support group initiatives, RHA seeks to increase access to resources in the areas of Health & Well Being (Mental Health), Educational Support & Advocacy, as well as Financial Literacy.

For more information on Raising Him Alone, the campaign schedule of events and resources visit, http://www.raisinghimalone.com/.  

For more information on David Miller, visit http://www.urbanleadershipinstitute.com/.