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Do You Know Who's Kissing You????

LETS JUST KISS AND SAY GOOD-BYE by T.D. Jakes When I thought of the lyrics of the song it made me wonder about a kiss.I had to meet you here today. There's just so many things to say. Please don't stop me till I'm through, this is something I hate to do. We've been meeting here
so long.....etc....Please darling don't you cry, Let's just kiss and say good-bye!
Powerful lyrics.
But why a kiss? A kiss is a term of endearment. A kiss is something that is the seal of approval. Guys always feel that getting the first kiss from a young lady was the
start of something. A kiss is usually how you greet your wife. A kiss is how you say good night to your children. A kiss is what you share when you want to let a person know that you love them!

So why did Judas betray Jesus with a kiss? This gives a whole new meaning for a kiss!
Jesus had 12 friends that we know as disciples. He chose his disciples Himself. The bible says that he knew one of them was the devil. So for 3 years of Jesus' life he walked, talked, and had breakfast, lunch, and dinner with a man that he knew would betray Him. Some may wonder, why didn't Jesus expose Judas for what he was? Why did Jesus allow Judas to continue on with Him?
The answer is simple. Jesus knew that prophecy had to be
fulfilled. He knew he had an ultimate purpose in life. So in order to fulfill the promise,Jesus had to let someone he didn't necessarily care for as a person tag along to keep Himself focused on the purpose.

There are people in your life that are there only to bother you. These people are in your life to keep you on your knees. These people are in your life because they are a
part of the problem and the solution. These same people will help catapult you to your destiny! When Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss, he opened our eyes to the fact
that a kiss is not always what we intend it to be.
Be careful who you let put their lips on you and your life. Be careful of who speaks well of you. Be careful of who always has an answer. Be careful of the ones that seem to
like you but it's just something about them that you just can't put your finger on.

Everyone in your life is not meant to stay in your life. Let's just kiss and say good bye. You can't carry everyone with you. There are some places that God wants you to go
that only you can go. Learn to love,leave, and live your life as God intended!
The next time you're betrayed by someone you THOUGHT was a friend, just remember 'Let's Just Kiss and Say Good Bye! Jesus already knew the betrayal was on the way.
So get over it, step on it, and don't live your life wondering 'why'

I was sent this message and decided to ask you......

DO YOU KNOW WHO'S KISSING YOU???

BE BLESSED, BE ENCOURAGED

NANETTE BUCHANAN
AUTHOR, FAMILY SECRETS....LIES & ALIBI'S
www.myspace.com/ipendesigns

MINISTERIAL SEDUCTION

There are times when I am amazed of how a woman will allow herself to be so engulfed in a man to a point she does not consider the logic behind it. There is a drawing force that automatically draws a woman to a man. It gets a hold of her and takes her to another world. Some people say it was activated in the Garden of Eden when the woman became disobedient to the command of God. This hypnotic drawing force is often times misinterpreted as falling in love by some women. In reality, it is seduction - a means for a fall.

How does something like this happen? It happens very easily. Women become very susceptible to seduction in moments of loneliness, unhappiness and at times during stages of low self-esteem. The problem with this is the loss of power experienced once the seduction is successful. This usually means not an increase of love but a lack of love from the seducer. Their reason for the seduction is usually for self-gain. Women are the last to know as they find fulfillment in the connection to the man that has chosen her above other women.

Do you know men of God have this same seductive influence over women? Trust me, many of them know it too. They have a special way of making women feel they are so needed to carry out God's work. I've seen it several times where the woman in the church who motivates the pastor is usually not the wife. It is this same woman who is faithful and appears for every service and event. She makes sure she has an active role in the church to ensure the pastor has what he needs to be a success.

I remember catching a sample of a minister's arrogance and certainty I was a likely candidate for this special role. The minister would give me direct eye contact and a look that reassured me my presence was much needed. Eventually, that look convinced me he needed me in his church on a regular basis. I was convinced I had a divine purpose and I must follow him wherever he goes. Nobody could tell me the Pastor didn't need me to be a great minister, so I kept coming back and waiting for that eye contact every Sunday.

One day, I sat in a different place in the church and noticed my pastor giving a woman that same eye contact he gave me. This woman was just as confident and proud as I was about being needed by our pastor. At that point, I began to observe from a distance this minister's interactions with women. Every last one of them was mesmerized by his mere presence. He knew how to make each one feel very special without physically going past holy boundaries. A hug or a hand shake did the trick; but nothing could beat that eye contact.

The confirmation that this wasn't just something in my mind came when I was becoming a regular and he started telling the other women to include me in special projects. They didn't take it too well and did just enough not to flunk the "Christian way of handling one another" test, while turning their noses up at me. I had to laugh inside as I observed how the minister knew just how to seduce women without sexual activity. For sure, to take possession of a soul, you must take possession of the mind. Trust me when I say the most powerful bond between a male and female is not sexual, but the joining of the minds. However, seduction has a unique and sadistically magical affect on the mind. It causes a woman to sacrifice herself for someone else without a just reward.

Ministers have many women who are connected to them by hypnosis. They absorb every single word he says and allow it to fill the empty places in their lives. Who wouldn't want to be close to a preacher, a man of God? The enticement takes place in being determined to do the right thing --- keeping the man of God happy! Though some fail and become sexually involved, most don't because their fulfillment is in knowing she is special to the pastor. Women give large sums of money to have that adrenaline rush. Some go so far as to give up their husbands. Women love their pastors because it is a safe love requiring only one thing: him needing "us" to do God's work.

Don't believe me? Look a woman straight in the eye and ask her, "How much do you love your pastor?"

Excerpt: Sherri Lewis's Dance Into Destiny

by Sherri L. Lewis


Chapter One

“Quite honestly, Ms. Banks, if you’re not able to bring all your course grades up to a B average by the end of the semester, I’m afraid you’re going to have to withdraw from the Master’s program.”

Keeva Banks stared at her counselor, watching her cheap, red lipstick bleed into the little wrinkles around her lips. It was almost as if she was mesmerized by the words coming out of her mouth.

She wasn’t.

She knew this was coming. It was just a matter of when. Even still, hearing it out loud…

Keeva grabbed a lock of hair and twisted it around her finger.

Ms. Parker pulled a green file folder from her desk with Keeva’s name printed on the corner and began flipping through the papers in it. “I’ve received progress reports from each of your professors and I have to tell you, things don’t look good.” Ms. Parker’s voice faded into a droning tone like the adult characters on a Charlie Brown cartoon. “Waa wa wa wa…”

Keeva fastened her eyes on Ms. Parker’s clothes. She had to focus on something – anything – other than her impending doom to make it through this meeting without falling apart.

Her blouse was made of some cheapy, chintzy fabric with wide, horizontal brown and beige stripes. How could she have thought it matched the completely different shade of brown of her shapeless skirt? And didn’t she know someone with her figure, or lack thereof, should never wear horizontal stripes? Not to mention that her skin was too sallow to wear brown anyway.

Keeva looked at her own tailored Donna Karan pantsuit. The rich, burgundy color accented her cocoa brown skin perfectly. She had dressed carefully that morning, knowing she’d need to look good in light of the news she was about to receive.

She made her eyes go back to Ms. Parker’s face, not wanting to appear rude.

“From what I understand, so far this semester you’ve made, at best, C’s on your exams and you still haven’t completed the project for your Research Methods class.”

Ms. Parker paused as if waiting for Keeva to speak.

No way she could answer without her voice shaking. Or worse still, her bursting into tears. She nodded slowly, hoping that would be a sufficient response.

Ms. Parker’s closet of an office seemed to be shrinking. And did they have the heat turned up in this part of the building? Keeva pressed her hand down on her knee to stop her leg from bouncing. She rubbed her sweaty palms on her pantsuit.

“I have to ask, Ms. Banks, do you really want this degree?”

Keeva almost laughed. What difference did it make what she wanted?

She sat up straight and pasted on a camera-pleasing smile. “Of course I want this degree. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” She hoped she sounded more convincing than she felt.

For the first time, and only for a minute, she thought about it. Did she want a master’s in Professional Counseling?

How could she help anyone when she didn’t have the answers? Keeva imagined herself counseling people, passing them tissue when they cried, patting their arms and giving them understanding looks in that annoying, empathetic way; bandaging them up to send them back into life to be bruised all over again. What was the point?

Would she ever really change anyone’s life?

Ms. Parker stood, came around to the front of her desk and leaned against it.

Keeva watched her hips spread out wide across the wooden edge. She sat back a little. Oh dear. Here comes the heart to heart.

“Ms. Banks, is there something going on that you need to talk about? A problem affecting your academic performance?”

Keeva mustered her last bit of emotional stability to paste on another smile. “No, Ms. Parker. There’s nothing going on. Thank you for your concern, though.”

And that was the worst part about it. There was nothing she could blame this on. She was healthy, all her needs were met; she had supportive parents, plenty of friends and a wonderful boyfriend.

Her life was…perfect.

All she had to do was get this stupid degree, start her career, get married, have 2.5 children, buy a Volvo and a home in an exclusive neighborhood and live out the rest of her years in Utopian suburbia.

What more could she ask?

She reached down to pick up her Coach briefcase and stood. She had to get out of the office before she erupted. “I really appreciate you taking the time to speak with me.”

That much was true. The last graduate program she flunked out of just sent a “warning” letter in the mail. It pretty much said get it together or else. Else had landed her here at Georgia State University.

Keeva flipped her hair over her shoulder and smoothed out her suit. “I assure you I’ll do everything I can to pull it together. Things will be better by the end of the semester.”

At least I hope.

***

Midtown Atlanta was a blur as Keeva drove to her apartment building. She couldn’t wait to get upstairs to the haven she had created for herself. She loved her one-bedroom loft. The airy openness of it gave her room to breathe. The large floor-to-ceiling windows let in abundant sunlight that kept her numerous plants flourishing. The designer yellow paint gave the room a happy feeling and was further brightened by the red, leather couch. Her place had an interior design magazine, art-deco feel to it.

Keeva winced as she imagined losing her apartment. She’d been there since her senior year at Spelman College. She and her boyfriend, Mark, then a senior at Morehouse, had picked it out together for her. If she flunked out again, her parents would withdraw their financial support and her penthouse loft, luxury car, and generous allowance would all be gone. There was no way her dad would call in another favor to get her into another graduate program.

Keeva dropped her briefcase off at the dining room table, ignoring the books there, begging to be read. She had to study, but needed to get rid of the heaviness that had been riding her since she stepped into Ms. Parker’s office.

Keeva went straight to her bedroom and peeled off her pantsuit. She put on some comfortable leggings and a T-shirt, and walked barefoot into the living room. She pushed the furniture towards the kitchen, careful not to scratch her hardwood floors. They had been a must when she was looking for an apartment. Even though she had given up hope of a professional dancing career, she still loved to dance.

She flicked on the stereo and pushed the “skip disc” button until she got to her African drumming CD. The pulsing tribal rhythms connected with something deep within her and began to restore the energy the day had drained.

Keeva inhaled slowly, breathing the music into her body. She began to sway back and forth until the music got into her feet, her body, and her soul. She moved around the room, slowly at first. Her movements grew bigger and stronger as she allowed herself to become enraptured in the music. As she leaped and twirled and kicked, the tension streamed out of every pore of her body. She danced herself into a frenzy until she reached a climatic point of release, and then lay in the middle of the floor.

She missed dancing.

Her mother enrolled her in her first dance class at the age of six so she could develop grace and good posture. Her father took her to see the Alvin Ailey dance troupe when she was ten. After that, all she dreamed of was being a professional dancer. She planned to audition for the troupe when she was seventeen, but her mother refused. Neither of her parents thought a dance career was appropriate for Keeva. They thought she needed a professional career to support herself, and that she could dance in her spare time, as a hobby. After they canceled her audition, dancing became bittersweet for Keeva and she quit taking classes.

Keeva jumped when the phone rang. She stretched back out and stared at the ceiling. The hardwood floor felt cold against her hot, sweaty skin.

The answering machine beeped. “Keeva, this is Shara Anderson from your Foundations class. I know you’re probably bogged down with studying for your other classes, but we need to get this project started soon. Please give me a call when you get a chance so we can set up a time to meet.”

Keeva rolled her eyes. In the midst of her midterm exams, her stupid professor assigned a research project. He randomly grouped the class into teams of two and she ended up with Shara.

Why was she calling her now? The project wasn’t due until the end of the semester.

Keeva didn’t know Shara too well. The most notable thing about her was how plain Jane she was. Her hair was always pulled back in a ponytail and she wore no earrings, no makeup, no nothing. She had a pretty face and would probably be nice looking if she fixed herself up a little. If she didn’t wear jeans everyday, Keeva would think she was one of those fanatical religious people who thought it was a sin to wear pants or look good. Like God would send someone to hell over a tube of lipstick and a pair of earrings. Shara definitely wasn’t the kind of person Keeva associated with and she wasn’t looking forward to the project.

She looked over at the clock. Mark would be dropping by in less than an hour to check on her. Keeva pulled the furniture back into place, then grabbed a quick shower. As she put on her make-up, she had to laugh at her new hair color. By some strange reasoning, probably a television commercial she had seen, she thought all she needed to fix her life was to spice up her hair color. She pulled her thick, brown hair, now with auburn highlights, up on top of her head and fastened it with a tortoise-shell clip. Mark liked her hair up.

As she poured a generous glass of wine, the buzzer rang, indicating that Mark was downstairs. A few minutes later, she heard him fumbling with his keys and went to open the door.

He pulled her into his arms. “Hey, how’s my Princess?”

Somehow Mark had adopted her father’s nickname for her. It was really a private joke between she and her dad. When she was growing up, he always thought Keeva’s mother was too hard on her and wanted her to be perfect, like a little princess. He thought she should get to enjoy herself more and not worry about what fork to use or how to enunciate perfect English.

Keeva inhaled the strong, masculine scent of Mark’s cologne and snuggled into his chest. “Fine, now. Do you want to come in or are we going to stand in the doorway all night?”

He kissed her on the nose. “You look beautiful as always. I love your hair like that.”

She beamed at his compliment.

Mark took her glass so she could twist the lock on the door he could never seem to work. He took a sip and frowned. “Wine? I thought you were studying.”

“I’m through for the evening. I was relaxing until you got here.”

“You know I don’t like it when you drink wine. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

Keeva clenched her teeth and turned to walk toward the couch.

He followed her. “All you had to do was wait until I got here. I know how to relax you.”

She rolled her eyes. Oh, no – not tonight. She searched her mind for excuses but couldn’t think of anything. She took a deep breath and turned towards him, making herself smile. Demurely, she asked, “Really? How?”

“Come here, I’ll show you.”

Mark kissed her for what seemed like an hour. She knew him well enough to know what was next and wished she hadn’t said she was finished studying. She slowly pulled herself away. She dodged his searching lips every time he tried to reengage her in another kiss until he finally gave a frustrated groan and said, “What?”

She lowered her eyes. She couldn’t look in his face and lie. “I’m sorry, baby. It’s that time of the month.”

“Again? Wasn’t that two weeks ago?” He was paying more attention to when her cycles were, probably because she was using that excuse more and more.

Truth was, she’d barely had a period since she started getting Depo-Provera shots over a year ago. “You know that Depo has my cycles all crazy.” She turned her back to him.

He rubbed her shoulders. “You know I hate that stuff. It’s unnatural – all those extra hormones in your body. That’s probably the reason for the extra pounds you’ve gained and your constant moodiness.”

She whipped around. “What?”

“Don’t get upset. I’ve noticed you’ve picked up a few pounds. And you’re always in a bad mood. I know school is difficult, baby, but you can’t just let yourself go.”

Keeva took a deep breath and pulled a strand of hair. “Mark, I’m really tired and I need to get some rest. I have to get up and study early in the morning. Thanks for coming by, but –”

He tried to smooth things over with a kiss. She stood there limp.

“Mark, I have a study group in the morning. I need to go to sleep.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. She did eventually have to set up a study date with Shara.

“You don’t have to be so sensitive. I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings. I’m sorry, Princess.” He slunk to the door like a sad puppy with his tail between his legs.

She walked over to kiss him. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired from all the studying. I’ll feel better after a good night’s rest. I’ll call you in the morning, okay? I promise we’ll spend some quality time together after midterms are over.”

Mark accepted her apology with a kiss on the forehead. “All right, we’ll make it a date.”

Keeva closed the door behind him. She went to her dining table and flipped open a textbook. She had to make herself read at least two chapters before she went to bed. For the past few weeks, whenever she tried to study, she somehow ended up on the couch watching television. Lifetime always had a good movie on, one after another.

Later, as she undressed to get into bed, she stood in her full-length mirror and turned from side to side, trying to find the extra pounds Mark mentioned. She studied her twenty-five year old body, but didn’t see any difference.

She pulled her favorite pair of jeans out of the closet. They were a size four and usually fit her perfectly. She pulled up the zipper. They fit the same way they always did. Mark probably noticed something she didn’t. Gotta start going to the gym.

Keeva sat on the edge of the bed and opened her nightstand drawer to pull out a bottle of Ambien tablets. She didn’t like having to depend on pills, but she had to get a good night’s sleep. If she did her usual tossing and turning for hours, she’d never be able to study tomorrow.

She slipped between her crème-colored, satin sheets and started her deep breathing and relaxation techniques, hoping for sleep to come. The pill would soon chase away images of her flunking out of school and losing everything she held dear. (Urban Christian, $14.95, 300pp)

Come visit my bookclub blog at Sherri Lewis Book Club and follow me on Twitter.

Meet Author Deborah Slappey-Pitts



Deborah Slappey Pitts
Thanks to my wonderful readers for making Shadow Living…Paintings of Grief and I Feel Okay national best-selling and award-winning books. Grace and peace to all of you. Deborah


Shadow Living..Paintings of Grief and I Feel Okay are available at dslappeypitts.com, bookstores and online venues such as Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Borders, Waldenbooks, Target, and others.

Harobed House
“Edifying the World Thru Worlds”
Post Office Box 9105, Columbus, GA 31908
Dslappeypitts.com
Innisfree54@yahoo.com





Shadow Living…Paintings of Grief (2007)
ISBN: 978-0978789701

Overview
Shadow Living…Paintings of Grief is the enthralling sequel to I Feel Okay, Deborah Slappey Pitts’ debut bestseller. In Shadow Living…Paintings of Grief, Pitts shares her intimate story of grief and survival after husband's death to a silent killer disease, primary amyloidosis.

With God as her refuge and strength, the author emerges from the shadows of grief to live again and to become a beacon of inspiration to others, coupled with an unwavering commitment to help others find their passageway through the murky depths of grief to a place of healing and peace.




What People are Saying About Shadow Living…


Deborah Slappey Pitts, voted "Disilgold Soul Literary Review Magazine YOUnity Guild of America Most Outstanding Book of the Year" for title, Shadow Living, Paintings of Grief which explores a woman's biographical memoir of her account of coping with the sudden death of her young husband, which has gone on to receive numerous reviews from national top reviewers and is now a Barnes & Noble best seller receiving critical acclaim and our pick for an author to watch.


“Shadow Living, the moving autobiographical account by bestselling author Deborah Slappey Pitts, will put at your heart strings as she shares her intimate story of grief and survival following her husband’s death to a silent killer disease. Identifying the perplexing stages of mourning, Pitts helps readers discover the many stages of the grieving process, including how to embrace the light of hope.”
Ghost Extraordinare


“Shadow Living is an excellent story of a survivor, written for survivors.”
William Phenn, Reader Views

“Deborah tells a sad, yet compelling story.”
Cheryl Dunlop, editor and author, FollowMe as I Follow Christ, Complete Idiot’s Guide to the World of Narnia.”


“Shadow Living promises to give readers hope that they too can come face-to-face with and heal from grief.”
D. L. Carpenter, Author, President of Creative Ink


Raw, Honest Emotions on Paper “….SHADOW LIVING: PAINTINGS OF GRIEF, her (Pitts) story begins at her husband’s funeral. She walks us through her many stages of grief. During a time of loss, it’s easy to lose faith. Mrs. Pitts though found refuge in God. And in this book, she tells her passage through the many phases of grief. This metamorphosis is raw emotions on paper, one beautifully told.”
J. Kaye Book Review Blog (jkayeoldner@yahoo.com)




“Imagine living life after the one person you love more than anything else died. Shadow Living chronicles the thoughts and intimate emotions of Deborah Slappey Pitts after the death of her soul mate and husband, Clyde . Pitts offers a detailed account of the range of emotions and how she came to acknowledge and eventually begin to live again. This inspirational story will encourage you to make the most of everyday and celebrate the small things with those you love. Pitts gives words of advice and ideas for planning for the inevitable – death.

Shadow Living is a brilliantly written narrative that offers rich description of emotions experienced by those left in the aftermath of death….”
Deltareviewer, Reviewing for Real Page Turners


SHADOW LIVING: Paintings of Grief by Deborah Slappey Pitts is a vivid description of what it really means to lose a loved one. Clyde Slappey was stricken with primary amyloidosis, a disease of the immune system, and when he was first diagnosed, after months of seeing doctor after doctor, there seemed to be no cure. Clyde and Deborah had been married for twenty-one years when the disease finally took him from her. Even though he was at the Mayo Clinic waiting for a heart transplant, death came to him sooner. This book is Deborah's story of living with the grief of having lost her soul mate. She gives the seven stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, fear, bargaining, depression and acknowledgement.

Her anger was interesting in that she was so angry with Clyde for leaving her and his two sons, Clyde Daryl and Alex Keith. In her deep grief, she felt as if he could have held on longer - at least long enough to get a heart transplant. SHADOW LIVING is a book that would surely help anyone going through the loss of a dearly loved mate. Deborah tells of her sleepless nights, her attempts to hide her deep depression from her friends and loved ones, of finally seeking help for herself and her son, Alex Keith. Her words are emotional and deep and I felt as if I, too, had known Clyde and had witnessed him as a father and husband.
Alice Holman, The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers


Shadow Living: Paintings of Grief by Deborah Slappey Pitts is an honest, inside view of a woman and a family's struggle to get through to the other side when one loses a loved one. Ms. Pitts is harrowingly honest in her portrayal of how she felt when her husband died. The reader could literally feel the emotions and the pain. More importantly, however, the reader could also feel the hope. ….Shadow Living serves as an honest and spiritual guide to those who are going through or will go through the loss of a beloved family member. I recommend this book to all who have loved and lost someone dear to their heart.
Angelia Menchan, APOOO BookClub


About the Author

Deborah Slappey Pitts is the multi-award winning author of Shadow Living…Paintings of Grief and I Feel Okay, a national bestseller which gives a heart-wrenching account of love, loss, and inspiration. A native of Americus, Georgia, Pitts’ mission is to bring awareness to the amyloidosis diseases and the physiological and psychological effects of the grieving process. Pitts has two sons and resides in Columbus, Georgia with husband, Marshall Pitts.

Honors and Awards
2007 YOUnity Guild Best Outstanding Book of the Year
2007 National Best Books Awards Finalist
2008 Reader Views Reviewers Choice Award
2008 Afr'am Fest Literary Award Nominee
Midwest Book Review Perfect 5
Reader Views Perfect “5” Book Review, 2007
RAWSISTAZ Perfect “5” Book Review, TRR Favorite, 2007
YGA 5-STAR, Top 25 HEATLIST Books
Mosaicbooks.com #1 Bestsellers List
Top 50 Black Christian Books National Bestseller List
Amazon.com top best-seller list


Radio and Television Interviews
Sankofa Literary Show, April 2, 2008
Urban Literary Review, March 21, 2008
Ferguson Literary Talk Show, February 12, 2008
Black History Month Internet Radio Talk Show, February 1-3, 18-22, 26-28
WAOK 1380 Powertalk Morning CBS Radio Show, Atlanta, Georgia, 2007
The Book Squad Radio and Podcast, 2007
The Grits Radio Podcast, 2007
The Rockhill Runway Newspaper, Spotlight on Deborah Slappey Pitts, Charlotte, North Carolina,
Inside Scoop Live Interview and Podcast, Internet
WPEE-TV, Noon Television Show, Cordele, Georgia
WTVM-TV, Noon Television Show, Columbus, Georgia
WRBL-TV, Noon Television Show, Columbus, Georgia


Newspapers, Magazines and Press Releases
“Shadow Living…Paintings of Grief,” Mosiac Magazine, 2007
Unmasking the Cloak of Grief and Grieving, P.O.W.E.R. Magazine, May and July 2008
Shadow Living…Paintings of Grief
An Intimate Account of Grieving and Survival, September 2007
Unmasking the Shadowy World of Grief, January 2008
Widow’s Grief Shared in Intimate Story About Learning to Live Again After Loss, February 2008



I Feel Okay (2005)
ISBN: 978-1420806090, Authorhouse, Bloomington, IN

Overview
I Feel Okay is an inspirational story based on true life experiences that Pitts and the Slappey family faced as they dealt with the death of Clyde Slappey—a husband and a father of a rare disease of the immune system known as primary amyloidosis, a disease that affects eight in a million people annually.

What People are Saying About I Feel Okay…

“I Feel Okay is more than a story about a man with a disease. It is a story of life and faith, and how the Slappey family kept the faith against insurmountable odds. It is a story of how strong they were in the face of adversity, yet able to keep a positive mental attitude. I Feel Okay has my highest A+ rating, the book is a, “must read,” in my opinion. It is well written, an exciting read and above all, a lesson in life….”
William Phenn, Readerviews

“I Feel Okay is a story of love, faith, and determination. It’s a touching story that truly shows the meaning of for better or worse, and sickness and in health, that is stated in the marriage vows….”
Eraina B. Tinnin, The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers


Honors and Awards
§ 2007 Infini Best Autobiography Literary Award
§ Booking Matters National Best-selling Nonfiction, 2006
§ Reader Views Perfect “5” Book Review, 2006
§ RAWSISTAZ 4.5 Book Review, 2006
§ Writers Digest International Self-Publishing Award, 2007, Honorable Mention


Newspaper, Magazines, and Press Releases
Fighting Against All Odds, AuthorHouse Publishers
Silent Killer Disease That You Don’t Know About, AuthorHouse Publishers
A Silent Killer Disease Threatens Eight in a Million Annually, PR Web Press Release Newswire
The Rockhill Runway Newspaper, Spotlight on Deborah Slappey Pitts, Charlotte, North Carolina,
Inside Scoop Live Interview and Podcast, Internet
WPEE-TV, Noon Television Show, Cordele, Georgia
Tragedy Followed by Hope,” Thrive Magazine, Columbus, Georgia
“Clyde’s Story,” Columbus Ledger-Enquirer, Columbus, Georgia
“I Feel Okay,” Synovus Connections, Columbus, Georgia
“Local New Author Pens First Book,” The Columbus Times, Columbus, Georgia
“Woman Finally Feels ‘Okay” after Writing Book,” The Albany Herald, Albany, Georgia
“Americus Native Publishes Book on Husband’s Life,” The Americus Times Recorder, Americus, Georgia
“TSYS Team Member is a Best Selling Author,” TSYS Insite, Columbus, Georgia


Thanks to my wonderful readers for making Shadow Living…Paintings of Grief and I Feel Okay national best-selling and award-winning books. Grace and peace to all of you. Deborah



After Death-What is Left Behind

You received the phone call, your loved one has died.

Over the past two years your relationship has been frayed, separated by Secrets & Lies.

As executor of the will, you find there are more legal ties.

More family, people you don’t know, more Secrets & Lies

Money changes people they all seek what has been left by your loved one the decease

You’ve been put in an uncomfortable position, you need an emotional release.

Your girl is a “gold digger” this you already know,

With the estate making you wealthy your relationship is about to blow

There’s one you’ve been talking to, she’s been tugging at your heart

You spend the week spending steamy moments with her setting off emotional sparks

Neither of you know the connection you’ve found a new beginning, a new love

But from the grave your father’s Secrets & Lies reveal another shock, you need help from above.

You find yourself dealing with a wife and family you never knew he had

You look at those expecting part of his estate and now you’re questioning “Dad”

Can a life that held Secrets & Lies reach you from the grave?

Can your family be the same, can new relationships be saved?

Will the wife finally confront the mistress who has been in her marriage from the start?

Will the mistress find she is the only woman who held the deceased close to her heart?

Can the son understand why his father didn’t tell his Secrets are there more Lies does he have an Alibi?

Will he lose his new love or find the truth while keeping his own secrets those he must hide.

Will the Mince family be secured as they were before D.Q.’s death?

You’ll have to read…..Family Secret’s Lies & Albi’s to learn the rest.

www.ipendesigns.com

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www.amazon.com

IF I HAD A DAUGHTER




If I had a daughter I would tell her to understand she is a gift from God. I would instill that in her from the day she is born. There would be no competition between us as far as winning daddy’s affections or proving I am the better female. I would tell her there was a time it was considered a curse to have a daughter verses having a son. But that time is over because now the female child can be adored, respected and looked upon as intelligent.

I would tell her to always know she is a unique creation of God and God is something or someone deep in her heart. I would teach her to value this invisible presence at all times and to shield it from the temptations of the world. First and foremost she must always understand that boys are totally different than girls in more ways than just physical. I would let her know each year of her life requires a different understanding of the male species.

First of all, the boy is a hunter and he thrives to satisfy his senses. It is human nature for him to desire to devour her body but it does not mean you should surrender it to him, especially when God is your first love. I would teach her to understand it is normal to feel sensations in her distinguished female areas of her body that the male yearns to touch and explore. But understand this is human nature. This urgency is the continuation of the human species. Know precious daughter it is not your responsibility to give your body away for this natural process. The alluring of the eyes of the beholder and his strong desire to have you is no different than what happens with the animals in the jungle. It is called mating to bring forth life.

True, it appears romantic and magical when you read about it or watch it on TV. This is just a smoke screen to sedate you as your soul, spirit and relationship with God is compromised for a moment of lustful fulfillment. Once the sperm is released, things are never the same because God was not in it and He was put on hold while your self-value is dropped. Before you take off those panties, remember you are not alone. God is there and hoping He is chosen over satisfying the lusts of the flesh of another.

Once you have allowed yourself to become naked before the eyes of a male, you risk the chance of being an instrument for sexual pleasure and never seen as a flower again. The boys share their experiences with one another as though their experience was a just reward for all their efforts for cunning you into his bed. Virginity is special for it represents oneness with God. God has something for you when you wait for your mate and trust Him to choose him for you.

There are other things going on in life for God’s children besides sweating between sheets. There is much to be done in bringing light into a world where God was not considered instead of sex. The outcome is greed, lust, drugs, sexual abuse and hate. All just because one girl, someone’s daughter did not value herself as a child of God. Honor yourself. See the opposite sex as a means to exercise spiritual truth not sexual arousal for the outcome is illegitimate children and a cry for the father to be in their lives. Go in to the world knowing God is with you always. If only someone had told them.

Love is real. It is not based on being wanted and needed. It is based on a silent knowingness that together we can make a difference in this world. My daughter, your most important homework assignment is finding out whom or what God is and living it each day of your life.

By Linda D. Wattley
Author

MOLESTED ANGEL WINGS





As a survivor of molestation, I can honestly say there is a beautiful life after being molested. I remember watching "Woman Thou Art Loose" by TD Jakes. In the movie, the main character, a young female was raped by her mother's boyfriend who took her virginity. Neither her mother nor anybody in her life knew her inner suffering with this experience. That hidden anguish grew to self-destruction.
The movie bothered me from the standpoint that when a man of God counsels this young lady knowing her deep seated anger and offered her no answers and in the end no hope. This was a great devastation for me because the victim ends up shooting the victimizer at the altar in the House of God. People found this to be an excellent movie. I found it to be a preying on emotions and a means of an income dealing with a subject so complex and soul altering that to tamper with it with no resolve was unjust to molested victims needing help. Several years later, I still remember this disappointment.
With this in mind, I want victims, not only molested victims to know and understand there is hope and there are answers. We just have to discover our own path to God. I wrote a book, "LAST DAY OF VICTIMIZATION". This book reveals the soul of victimization and prepares victims and those who love and want to assist in the healing process answers and a real understanding why we are victims. Trust me if you really want to be delivered from your past, it can happen and it will if you consider the possibility it is because you are a child of God therefore you are a target for potential abuse.
Though many people would hate to admit, healing from molestation and many other forms of abuse takes time, lots of time. It is a shifting of gears from low to high with neutral sometimes making us think we are not progressing. I want molested angels all around the world to know you can and will accept your wings of freedom. When it happens you will know it. I remember accepting my wings. It happened in a way that never entered my mind. I owe it to my soul mate. I will ever be indebted to him.
Standing up for one's feelings, needs and desires was difficult for me as a molested victim because that natural choosing was denied me for so many years of my life. I faced the world not acknowledging my true feelings that made me who I am. Instead, the needs, feelings and desires of the ones I loved had precedence over mines; but finally after much trust in God and allowing myself to rise out of my private abyss, I spoke from my soul and risk the chance of disappointing or even losing my soul mate. See in the past, I was hollered at or spanked if I expressed my true feelings. But my day of realizing God has brought me from a long way, I spoke and received my Wings of Healing. Today, I can say: God will restore the years of the locusts. My past can no longer paralyze my presence. To be free is knowing you are AMAZING!

by Linda D. Wattley
Author

Searchable Whereabouts, a mystery novel



Chapter 1


Sluggishly, I pulled myself up and sat on the side of the bed, remaining motionless for a minute, almost certain it was not going to be a good day. It was my son’s birthday. Matthew died three years ago. Every year, around this time, I would feel depressed. I hated when I did this to myself. Sometimes, I really believed my depression was self-imposed. Thirty-three years old, no life, no Matthew and, dare I mention, no sex with a man in damn near two years. Not even a real relationship since my ex. I’m not a bad looking woman. At least, that’s what I’d assured myself.
Slipping my chilled feet into my furry slippers, I moved toward the window and drew open the blinds. Peering out the window, the sky wasn’t looking very promising for the sun to shine much today. A cloud, in the shape of a long-stemmed rose, emerged with a faint image of Uncle Leon’s face beside it. If I see another image in the sky, I don’t know what I’d do.

Sighing heavily, I stretched my fingers across my hips and exhaled. “At least today, it’s a decent one, considering the occasion,” I mumbled to myself.

Contemplating taking off from work, keeping as preoccupied as possible, was something I needed to do. Grabbing my pack of cigarettes off the dresser, I ambled into the bathroom. Standing in the mirror, I lit the cigarette that dangled from my lips, drew in deep and blew the smoke at the mirror, forming a hovering cloud. My hair looked wild, coming very close to looking like a frizzy afro, sticking out every which way, and my ends needed to be trimmed.

Normally, my hazel eyes would be my best feature, big and bright, but instead they were red, droopy and tired. Inhaling another puff of smoke, I grabbed my plump cheeks, and blew it out right away. I squeezed my cheeks, took my other fingers and pulled the skin under my eyes down. Damn, that was a pathetic sight. What I was trying to accomplish, I had no idea. I pulled off my white and red heart pajamas and jumped into the shower.

Dressing in blue scrubs and brushing my hair back into a ponytail, I headed downstairs. Opening the front door, I stepped onto the porch and picked up the newspaper, before waving to Mrs. Jenkins across the street, pulling weeds out of her yard. I always thought she was a little weird, an older Irish woman, maybe in her late sixties. In the summer, she wore boots and pretended to shovel snow in her yard. During the winter months, she would turn on the sprinkler and water the front yard, at times watering snow. For ten years I’ve lived in this house, I don’t believe I’d ever seen any family visit her. During the holidays, I’d made it a point to bake a tray of cookies, or some kind of desert, and take it to her, with a card. She would never say thank you, but I knew she appreciated it. If it got too late in the day, on a holiday, she would knock on my door and ask if I was coming over.

Opening the paper, I turned directly to my favorite section: Your Daily Horoscope, which I usually read everyday. There was a time when I was hooked on psychic readings. It fascinated me so, but Mama always said I should leave that stuff alone or else something bad could happen. Mama had tendencies of putting fear in me, so I hadn’t been up on the psychic thing as I used to be.
Moving my eyes through the paper, I scrolled down to the sign of Aries. It said: When searching for what you want, the answer lies in front of you, directly in front of you, and comes to light when you least expect it. I pondered for several minutes, trying to tie the horoscope into my life, but I didn’t really know.

Tucking the paper under my arm, I stepped inside the house and into the kitchen, to fix a bowl of cereal. Dropping the paper on the kitchen counter, I turned on the television and looked over at the green digital clock on the stove: 8:10 a.m. Good, I still had time. I was in no rush to get to the nursing home, where I worked, anyway. In general, I liked my job, but some of those old people just plain got on my nerves.

I knew I shouldn’t have come to work. Not really feeling being here, and after working for six hours, I left the nursing home early. I wasn’t feeling well anyway, and I couldn’t work a complete day. Besides, time was ticking away and what I dreaded was getting close. I felt anxious, nervous and sad all at once. Thinking of Uncle Leon, I realized I never called him back yesterday. I thought about calling him, but I didn’t want him to hear the sadness in my voice. That would be all I’d need.
At times, it was so hard hiding my emotions, even when I tried to. Uncle Leon was more of a father to me, than my own father had been. When I was little, he always told me that I was his daughter in a prior life. He’d given me a necklace, with a black marble at the end of the chain. As a child, I wore it a lot, but now I kept it in my jewelry box for sentimental reasons.

It was the end of July and, in a couple of months, summer would be over. I met up with Janetta for a late lunch. I knew I could count on her to make me feel better. But, honestly, I think I wanted to feel miserable. I didn’t want to be happy today—that self-imposed depression—I guess.
Janetta was a cool friend. She and I go way back. She was my best friend and really one of my only friends to be exact. I lost a lot of friends over the last few years. This was mostly because my dealings with my ex, who was shot, the death of Matthew in a car accident, and my drug and alcohol addiction.
Janetta didn’t take a lot of mess from anyone and she told you like it was. She could be as ghetto as she wanted to be or an angel with a little bit of an attitude. She was overweight, but beautiful. That girl could dress her ass off, with her hair hooked up in one of her many unique styles. Janetta had two obsessions in life: food and men.

I pulled into the garage and entered the house through the side entrance. I tossed my purse on the kitchen table and went upstairs to change out of my scrubs. After slipping into a pair of jeans, and a T-shirt, I grabbed my purse and cigarettes, sat on the front porch and waited for Janetta. Lighting a cigarette, I tried to think good thoughts like flowers, trees, the water sprinkler in the back yard, kids playing, and summer. Summer made my spirits feel good. With closed eyes, I rocked back and forth in the rocking chair, with tightly clenched fists. Then the horn blew. In an instant, I snapped back to reality. I stood, with a smile on my face, when I saw Janetta pulling up in her Land Rover. Seeing Janetta, bouncing her head back and forth to an old school jam, briefly took me back down memory lane.

It was 1986, our senior year in high school and it was graduation time at Northwest High School. With plaid green pants and a silver blouse, you couldn’t tell me anything, with my hair mushroom-shaped with the shag in the back. My eyes wide as can be with my thin lips painted with a light purple lipstick. Our school colors were green and silver, so I did my best to coordinate. Janetta wore a black skirt with a silver blouse as well.

We both planned to wear a skirt, but I chickened out at the last minute. I told her my legs were too big.
“Well, mine are, too,” she debated, “you think I care?”

I wasn’t sure if I was going to graduate or not, because I missed a lot of days hanging out with the wrong crowd. I always wanted to fit in and never quite thought I did. I always managed to date the creepy guys who wanted nothing but sex. Janetta was smart and never cared about what anybody thought of her. That was what I always admired the most about her. We have been friends since the ninth grade and, I must admit, she was always there for me.

Although Janetta was a big girl, that never stopped her from enjoying life. She would call herself F.A.T, Fabulous and Thick. That was her way of putting a positive spin on something others may look at as negative. In high school, we were the same size, but different height. I was five-seven and dark-skinned, while she was light-skinned and five-foot-three. That was until I lost weight from all the stress, and drug and alcohol abuse. It’s strange though; looking back, it seemed like I was happier at a size twenty, than I was at my present size eight.

Calling out to me, Janetta snapped me back to reality. “Hey girl, I know what day it is, but we are going to get through this day, okay? I’m taking you to your favorite restaurant.”
I leaned back, looked at her and smiled, with a raised brow. “What, the Fondue Palace?”
Janetta nodded and licked her lips.

I slid into the passenger seat. “That place is expensive; you don’t have to do that, Janetta.”
“Don’t tell me what I don’t have to do. I know I don’t have to do anything but be proud, black and die. But, today is a special day, maybe a hard one to deal with, but a special day. Let me see a smile on your face, right now,” she demanded. Then she looked at me and placed her finger under my chin, and turned my face toward her.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Okay, that’s what I’m talking about,” she chuckled. “That’s much better.”

“How’s Steven?” Janetta dated a lot, and if I was sure of anything, it was to hear all of her men stories.
“Girl, Steven is history. He’s a cheapskate. Do you know he wanted me to give him gas money at the end of our date? And, on top of that, I couldn’t even order my own meal. He ordered for me. And, ordered like the cheapest thing on the menu. What am I supposed to do with a big piece of broccoli and chicken staring back at me? I ain’t on no damn diet.”

I laughed. I thought that was too funny.

There was a long silence.

“So,” Janetta said, breaking the silence, “when are you going to the gravesite today?”
I knew I was going, but I didn’t want to think about it. Not yet, anyway, even though I had to.

“Probably around six. Mama and Sierra are going with me.”

“Well, I have a teddy bear I bought for Matthew, if you can take it with you.” Janetta reached in the back seat and pulled out a small, baby blue bear. It was so cute. I tried to hold back the tears, and surprisingly, I was successful.

“Thank you, Janetta, it’s beautiful.” I was happy Mama and my youngest sister, Sierra, was going with me. Last year, they were out of town for Sierra’s seventeenth birthday, so I went alone. That was a big emotional mistake.

After lunch with Janetta, I felt better. However, as soon as I inserted the key into my front door, I suddenly felt bad again—out of control as each second passed—so I paced the living room and chain-smoked one cigarette after another. I thought about calling Sarah, an old friend. I guess not a friend; you really wouldn’t call someone a friend if all you did was snort up white crap together.
Before I changed my mind, I grabbed the phone and dialed. Someone answered, but my words lodged in my throat. I hung up and visualized my therapist asking me if I really wanted to make that call. It’s been a little over a year since I have been totally clean. I can’t, I thought to myself, and smoked another cigarette instead. After a few minutes, I put it out, as I eyed the bottle of gin on the top cabinet in the kitchen. Finally, and as much as I tried to restrain myself, I opened it. I took a long swallow, and then another, and then, one last swallow.

Standing in the middle of the kitchen floor, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and imagined Matthew in the living room, playing with his Legos. I ran to him, he looked up at me. He was so happy, and as I reached out to him, his image disappeared. Then instantly, I saw another image of Uncle Leon and it scared me. I looked down at the bottle of gin and hurled it across the room. Chips of glass scattered everywhere. I dropped to my knees, wrapped my arms around myself and cried profusely.

Unable to stop the downpour of tears, one would’ve thought I had just buried my son, but it was three long, pain-staking years ago. Matthew would be eight if he were alive. So many thoughts ran through my head. I missed him so much. On my hands and knees, I crawled up the stairs to the top. Standing, I reached out and wrapped my trembling hand around the doorknob. Inhaling deeply, and exhaling slowly, I opened the door to his room, which I rarely went into. Nothing had changed. The room remained the same way for the last three years. I didn’t touch much of anything when I went in. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, wanting to smell him once again.
On his bed was a picture of him I placed there three years ago, that I looked at whenever I mustered the nerve to visit his room. That’s what I thought of my infrequent pop-ins to his room, a visit. But this was the last picture I took of Matthew riding his new bike I bought him. Standing in the middle of his room, I embraced the photo and looked around.

So vividly, I remembered the day my precious son died. I suppose it’s a day I will always remember, well into eternity. I was driving. Nevilla, Uncle Leon and Matthew were in the back seat. I’d bought a new television for Matthew’s room, which was in the front passenger’s seat. We were on our way home from McDonald’s. It was raining so hard that day. We’d stopped at the gas station. I thought Matthew had on his seatbelt, but I learned later, that he hadn’t. The car flipped several times as I swerved to avoid a semi-trailer that I thought was coming toward us. When the fire truck, ambulance and police arrived on the scene, Nevilla, Uncle Leon and I were still in the car, buckled in. I was unconscious. The day after the accident, I learned that Matthew was thrown several feet into a field, where he died on impact. From that day forward, my life had been one complete mess after another, and the feeling of guilt grew from a molehill into a mountain. Had I strapped my baby in, he would still be alive.
In the middle of Matthew’s room, I sat down on the floor and rocked myself to sleep to later awake by the ringing telephone. I knew it was Mama. She was probably crying too. I looked up at the Mickey Mouse clock on his wall. After three years, it’s still running like the first day I bought it. It was almost time to go to the gravesite.

Closing Matthew’s bedroom door behind me, I noticed the newspaper on the table in the hallway. I picked it up and read my horoscope, again, aloud: When searching for what you want, the answer lies in front of you, directly in front of you, and comes to light when you least expect it.
I still wasn’t sure what that meant, so I tossed it on the bed in my room. My head was pounding, so I went into the bathroom, drank some water and took two aspirins.
END_______________________

Thank you, I hope you enjoyed. CLICK HERE to purchase your copy of Searchable Whereabouts. You can also visit the author at her website: http://www.tinishanicolejohnson.com/

Thrifted, Not Re-Gifted?

Thrifted, Not Re-gifted
A funny thing happen to me at the thrift store. As I was scanning the bookshelves for the lastest literary cast-offs my daughter cried out to me after unearthing a slightly worn copy of my debut novel, Soon and Very Soon-with a signature, no less. I haven't done many of these. This gave me pause. I was insulted. I felt the way I did when I found my favorite cassette tape of all time, New Editions's NE Heartbreak album in the bargin bin at Sam Goody record store. Surely, it was a mistake. The owner must have been like those clueless sad-sacks who give away one-of-a-kind artwork only to find out it's worth later on the Antique's Roadshow.
I made my daughter take me to the exact same spot where she found it. I examine the void it left on the shelf between an outdated volume of the Childcraft encyclopedia and another book as if it would give me some clue as to who could have given my baby away. I want to know this person's identity more than anything. See, my book only came out seven months ago, and we were in my neighborhood. I was sure I could crack the case. That's only a twenty-five to thirty mile radius to cover. Not exactly a case for Scotland Yard. I narrow the field of known residents that I had told about the book or sold the book to. Just when I think I have a list compiled, I think how ridiculous this whole thing is. How do you tactfully ask someone, did you happen to pitch my book out with your argyl sweater and Hammer pants? Was there no one you could personally give the book to? Ever hear of paperback swap, for goodness sake?
There had to be a logical explanation. The writer in me had me sit down at the kiddie desk set they were selling for just $7 to ponder a few possible ones. Maybe this person had a husband like mine who constantly threatens, "Don't bring another book in this house." But of course this person couldn't resist my realistic tale about two pastors that marry and combine their churches. So she took the risk and discarded the evidence immediately after the last page. Yeah, that's it.
Just when I thought I could rest a bit after a major signing at my sorority's convention at the end of this month. Yeah, maybe I'll do the Baltimore Book Festival in September, then the Capitol Book Festival. I've got a sequel to write. I can't possibly create and promote simultaneously. Soon and Very Soon will do alright. Wrong. I got a few more calls to make, connections to follow-up on and weekends to book with signings.
"Look mommy, you've got that book."
That's my six year old who has gotten good at reading the spin of books. She gets caught up on the last syllable of Terri McMillian's last name as she spots the hardback copy of A Day Late and a Dollar Short. I do own that book. I stood in line for hours while pregnant to get it signed at the crowded-to-overflowing Karibu books in the Bowie Town Center (Don't get me started. That's a whole nother lament). I would have loved to get it for $2.10. Just thirty more cents than my book was going for at the Waldorf Thrift Store.
God has a sense of humor. Just as I was about to grab my book up and discreetly pay for it at the counter like it was the last scandal sheet written about me left on the newstand, I realized I've gotten some real good books here. I wasn't thinking, poor Audre Lorde when I picked her book of poems up and added it to my library. I've found, read and treasured, Grisham, Jakes, Gaines, and Steele.
I could take it home, wipe the red colored pencil price tag off with a baby wipe and add it to the other books packed to go to Florida-for sale for $15 a pop. Genreic signature could easily be personalized on the spot. Dead wrong-maybe, maybe not. ( I put this is print so I wouldn't be tempted to do that)
I left the copy of Soon and Very Soon on the shelf next to the outdated volume of the Childcraft encyclopedia and the other book. God has plans for that book right there. My goal was that it would be widely read and that it would be a blessing to the reader. I couldn't think of a better place for that goal to be accomplished.

Eleven Months of Hell

Chapter 1

“What did you call me, huh? Speak up bitch!” Mercedes commanded. Terri shivered under the knife Mercedes had placed on his throat. This was different from the way he acted thirty seconds ago. His whole body trembled now; he realizes that he went too far. He couldn’t believe Mercedes would step to him like this. She was usually so calm and relaxed. She hated violence. Right before his eyes, she had snapped into another woman. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He shut his eyes and prayed to God to spare him his life.
Mercedes’ heart was beating loudly as she watched Terri close his eyes to pray. She turned to look towards her bed where she saw her bible faced down on it. Shame washed over her. She dropped the knife. Terri broke loose and ran downstairs, falling as he went. He disappeared into his bedroom, slammed, and locked the door. She could hear him moving furniture in front of the door. “Lord please, forgive me!” She cried. Mercedes fell to her knees and begged God for forgiveness. She praised Him for stopping her from slitting Terri’s throat. Just seconds ago, she almost committed an act that could have gotten her locked away for a very, very long time. Her mind drifted to earlier that night, to the thoughts she had formulated about Terri and their marriage.

***

Mercedes listened as Terri unlocked the back door and walked into the house. He had just gotten off from his shift at the post office. She could hear him walking around downstairs as if he was inspecting the place. This was his nightly routine. She cringed when she heard his foot settle onto the first step. He was coming upstairs to harass and abuse her, as usual. Everything was the same as it had been for the last eleven months, but tonight it would be different. Mercedes had made up her mind…tonight would be very different.
Terri swaggered into Mercedes’ space, his eyes glued on her as she sat reading her bible. He smirked, sniffed, and cocked his head. He started in with his usual assault.
“I was just downstairs and I don’t see one chore I instructed you to do complete! What’s wrong with you? Are you too stupid to even know what needs to be done around this house?”
“Look! I’m telling you Terri, I’m not in the mood for this mess tonight. If you call me stupid one more time, I swear, I’m not going to be responsible for my actions.” Mercedes’ heart pounded; she could feel adrenalin coursing through her body. She was tired of Terri’s verbal beatings and meant for this to be the last time this man called her out of her name. Terri considered her words an idle threat. Mercedes had said that so many times before but never did anything. Instead, she’d make up with him. Then when she wouldn’t comply with his demands he would start calling her names again. Mercedes kept on reading her bible. She was trying to regain her spiritual composure and become herself again. Terri smirked and started in on her again.
“You’re the stupidest woman I have ever met in my life! You’re sitting up here reading the bible and you don’t even understand what the Word is trying to say!” Terri bellowed.
Mercedes leapt from the bed, jumped in Terri’s face, clutching the butcher knife in her right hand she went for his jugular. She held the cold blade to his flesh. Her head throbbed, her eyes ached, she could hear her heart pounding wildly in her chest.
“What did you call me bitch? Say it again bitch! You said I was what? Huh? What is it you’ve never met before? Huh? Speak up bitch! You so damn smart! Say it bitch! You’re so bad. You a man, right? Say it bitch!”


Terri was shaken. Mercedes was dazed too, but she stood her ground. She never wanted to hear stupid come out of Terri’s mouth again. But even after asking him nicely and politely to stop, he’d refused. So she lost it. She felt something shaking and realized it was his knees. This gave her more nerve; she felt powerful, even invincible. It felt good to see Terri behave like the coward she had always known him to be. She looked him straight in the eyes and waited for him to call her stupid again. Tears slid down his cheeks. She didn’t know if he was sorry or scared. She concluded that he was scared since he didn’t think women ever deserved apologies. His eyes were turning beet red; he looked pitiful. She started feeling bad, but something in her would not let her stop. Mercedes’ eyes cascaded over the bed, where she had laid her bible. Something in her shifted; suddenly she felt an inner peace. Slowly she lifted the knife from Terri’s neck and lowered her arm. When she dropped it, Terri scurried down the steps like a girl, ran into his bedroom, and locked his door. What had become of her? How had she gotten to this place? She’d never hurt anyone in her life. Nor had she ever desired to hurt anyone. In the military she had been trained extensively to protect and defend self and others, yet she never once thought she’d use such measures on a member of her household. Mercedes didn’t consider Terri a husband—although she was legally married to him—she just thought of him as a person who happen to live in her household.

This man took me there. A place I thought I’d never go. Mercedes threw her hands up in praise, thanking God for bringing her back to her senses. Had she cut this man, life would have changed dramatically for her. Now she understood what it meant to commit a crime in the heat of passion. At least, in her case, what it’s like to come dangerously close to doing it. Funny though, she always thought a crime of passion had something to do would love. But Mercedes did not love this man. She didn’t even like him, yet there she was in the heat of passion, poised to commit the worst sin of her life. “Thank you Jesus!” Mercedes cried out. She knew this was the last time this man would ever call her stupid. Her body heaved a sigh of relief.

Mercedes phoned her sister.
“Hello.”
“Hey Pearl, how are you?” Mercedes spoke as if everything was normal.
“I’m good, just dosing in and out of sleep. Is everything alright?”
It was then that Mercedes realized it was past midnight, and it was unusual for her to call her sister so late at night, especially on a weeknight.
“Yeah, everything is fine. No, let me say everything is the same. But I’ve got to get out of this house, immediately,” Mercedes added.
“You want me to come get you now? I can get Max, gas up the car and we’ll be right down there, just say the word!”
“No, I haven’t made arrangements yet, but I’ll do it tomorrow, and we can do this on Saturday.” Mercedes thought about her son Max. She knew he would be ready to round up his boys, come to [name the town/city] and kick Terri’s butt. Mercedes kept most of the abuse and what she was going through from her sister and son because she didn’t want them to worry. Still, Pearl and Max had witnessed Terri’s craziness; they’d often asked if everything was all right.
“Well, you just get everything straight. If you need me to do anything for you, don’t hesitate to tell me what you need. I’ll kick him dead in his mousy mouth!” Pearl said, making Mercedes laugh. “We’ll be down there on Saturday, so don’t you worry about that foolish old man! We’re here for you and if you want us to come right now, we’ll be there. There’s nothing more important to us than you Mercedes.”
Tears cascade down Mercedes’ brown cheeks. She needed to hear the love. She inhales deeply, looks up at the ceiling with a pause before responding, “No, everything is going to be just fine now.”

When Mercedes got off the phone, she reflected on how she got into this situation. She wasn’t a violent person. She cringed at the thought of killing a mosquito, but here she was ready to slice a man’s throat! She was tired of the madness. For eleven months, when Terri’ was present, Mercedes could barely remember her name. He called her stupid repeatedly. One time he leveled stupid at her forty two times in an hour and a half. The only reason she kept her composure was because they were in a car and he was driving. But, in that moment, the rage had started to mount.
It wasn’t always this way. Mercedes had gotten into a relationship with Terri because she was lonely and broke. She had grieved too long for her deceased ex-husband; she wanted to go on with her life. Although her ex-husband was not perfect, nor did they have the perfect marriage, he treated her like precious glass, compared to Terri. Her ex-husband was her best friend. She was not thinking straight when she got with Terri.
Mercedes never imagined she’d be in a place such as this. The next time, she thought, she would be sure before she hooked up with a man. She’d be in the right frame of mind. She wouldn’t let finances or loneliness choose for her. She would be stable. She could start this story just the way she started her relationship with Terri, but she won’t. Instead she’ll go back to the beginning, so you can understand how she got to this place.

Marketing a Christian Book or Business

MARKETING THE MESSAGE

*from a newsletter sent by http://www.ministrymarketingsolutions.com/

www.myspace.com/pamperryprcoach Farmington MI 48336

If you've missed any of the podcasts "2 PR Pros" with leading public relations and publishing pros from around the country, here's your chance to click and listen. The beauty of technology. If you don't know what a podcast is...just read on.

Ministry Marketing Solutions wants to keep you on the cutting edge to help you "market the Message." If you're an author or a ministry, listen to these shows. Each podcast is 30 minutes - free information.


Description
If you're an author, you need to know the in's and out's and the do's and don'ts of book publicity. If you're a Christian Author, you have a responsibility to spread the WORD and represent God in excellence. This Talkcast will show you how. Learn how to put together a press kit, get media lists and write books that SELL!This Podcast was created using http://www.talkshoe.com/


Episodes


1. EPISODE21 - 2 PR Pros - Guest Crystal Obey of GMA Publishinghttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.78Mb)

Description: Crystal Obey believes in the Power of Partnership and encourages others to reach for their God given potential. She is the co-owner, with her husband Anthony, of GMA Publishing providing book services to Writers, Pastors, Leaders, and Speakers. GMA has published close to 100 titles and provides free writing, publishing, and marketing advice at www.GMApublishing.com. The book, Start Small Finish BIG in Self Publishing, written by the Obeys, was released in March 2007 to help aspiring authors write a business and marketing plan for their book. Crystal is also the co-creator of the Refined by Fire Christian Inspirational Book Series for Women - The Official Publishing Opportunity for Christian Women Speakers and Leaders. There are currently 4 books in the series with more being planned for release in the future.For more information about Crystal Obey, GMA Publishing, or Refined by Fire: Visit: www.GMApublishing.com Visit: www.RefinedbyFireWomen.com Email: info@GMApublishing.com Call: (812) 962-0861


2. EPISODE20 - 2 PR Pros discuss book publishing and promotionhttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.66Mb)

Description: My guest on this show is: Tamika Johnson, CEO & Publisher, Anointed Word Media Group. www.publishyourchristianbook.com --- As a divorced mother of one, Johnson, an award winning author, took just $250 and launched Anointed Word Media Group on May 1, 2006, from her parents small computer room. Within six months of operation the company moved into a commerical office and had published authors from around the Country. January 2007, AWMG, the only Christian publishing company nominated, was voted Best Small Press of 2006 by Marguerite Press. February 2007, Tamika expanded the publishing company to include a male imprint, Men of Standard Publications and an online radio program Anointed Authors on Air, placing all entities under the heading of Anointed Word Media Group.


3. EPISODE19 - 2 PR Pros discuss From Book to Bestseller by Penny Sansevierihttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 13.04Mb)

Description: The Treasure Map to perfect publicity and striking publishing gold is what has been said about Penny sansdevieri's new book, From Book to Bestseller. She will give author's the insider's guide to publicizing and marketing their book! From Book signings to Oprah! All it takes is a plan and some prayer! Tune in and listen. www.booktobestseller.com


4. EPISODE18 - 2 PR Pros discuss Ministry Marketing featuring Charis Hunthttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.45Mb)

Description: My guest is Charis Hunt. She is vice president of New Business Development for Advance Advertising Agency Inc. Specializing in media buying, creative writing and public relations, Charis has developed innovative media solutions for numerous award-winning gospel artists, businesses and churches across the nation. Helping Chrisitan authors is also her passion. She consistently delivers power-packed literary content and effective advertising and PR strategy to aspiring authors. Hear us discuss the ministry marketing industry & give free advice!


5. EPISODE17 - 2 PR Pros discuss PURE Publicity with Ben Laurrohttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.92Mb)

Description: Ben Laurro is the owner of Pure Publicity which has offices in Los Angeles, Nashville and Seattle. Known for their creative campaigns, Pure Publicity has secured interviews with their clients on national television programs (Entertainment Tonight, The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Early Show, ABC World News Tonight, CNN, MSNBC, FOX News and Oprah), national syndicated radio shows and national print media (USA Today, People Magazine, Instyle, Ladies Home Journal and Los Angeles Times), including daily papers in top markets. Hear him on "2 PR Pros" as we discuss what it takes to get the big media.


6. EPISODE16 - 2 PR Pros discuss Publicity today with Toni Bekhamhttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.77Mb)

Description: My guest tonight is a real PR pro! Toni Beckham is president and CEO of PR, et Cetera, Inc. a full-service public relations and marketing communications firm she established in June 1999. In the company?s earliest days, Toni promoted events for friends and acquaintances without charge to familiarize the public with her work. One such promotion led to the acquisition of her first paying client, Tavis Smiley, author, civic activist, and then host of the widely popular one-hour nightly talk show on national cable station, Black Entertainment Television, ?BET Tonight with Tavis Smiley.? PR, et Cetera has represented him on several occasions since. Her current project: "Gumbo for the Soul" Literacy Program website: www.GumboForTheSoul.netAnthology Title: "Gumbo for the Soul: the Recipe for Literacy in the Black Community" benefiting literacy program


7. EPISODE15 - 2 PR Pros discuss Book Publicity todayhttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.03Mb)

Description: Book Publicity Puzzle! How do you get all the pieces put together. Award winning publicist (Marika Flatt of PR By The Book) will discuss tonight on the podcast at 8:00 p.m. Learn how to start with unique positioning angles, sculpt them into an attractive pitch and look for the appropriate placements in the media. Ask us anything. If you're a PR Pro too, call in and chime in. Hear our "shop talk" and listen and learn something new. It's all about "marketing the message."


8. EPISODE14 - 2 PR Pros discuss Publicity todayhttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.60Mb)

Description: Gospel music is exploding! How do you get noticed? Need a website designed? How about an Eblast? Want to get your podcast out? Tonight's guest - Humilitee of Gospelfruits.org can show you how! It's PR you can do yourself with a little bit of help! Ask us anything. If you're a PR Pro too, call in and chime in. Hear our "shop talk" and listen and learn something new. It's all about "marketing the message."


9. EPISODE13 - 2 PR Pros discuss gospel promotions for stage plays and eventshttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.80Mb)

Description: If Tyler Perry can do it, you can too! Do you think you have the right mix of creativity, gospel knowledge and humor to pull off a stage play successfully? How do you promote a gospel play anyway? What are the current trends in promotions? Want to stage an event, what's involved? Talk with pros who deal with issues like this all the time. Ask us anything. If you're a PR Pro too, call in and chime in. Hear our "shop talk" and listen and learn something new. It's all about "marketing the message." My guest is Kristy Harper from Turning Heads Promotions out of Dallas, Texas. www.Turningheadspromotions.com


10. EPISODE12 - 2 PR Pros discuss BIG DREAMS, BIG MEDIA- Gwendolyn Quinnhttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.65Mb)

Description: Episode # 12: Big Dreams. Big Platform. Big Media. Gwendolyn Quinn talks shops. She is a leader in the PR field and in NYC! We will talk about: How do you get the exposure you think you deserve? Want to get out there? Talk with 2 PR PROs who deal with PR issues day in and day out. Ask us anything! If yo are a PR Pro too, call in and chime in. If you are a media PRO, give us your two cents. We do not bite! The more the better. It is all about marketing the message.


11. EPISODE11 - 2 PR Pros discuss how to find the right tools and PR proshttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 14.06Mb)

Description: Recognized as the grounding force of MarketAbility, Kim Dushinski, the strategic marketing mindset and love of being organized are key to our own successful marketing. She is responsible for our website development, online marketing, advertising design and placement, direct mail coordination, and the concept and design of MarketAbilitys marketing materials. She has launched a new program: www.Howtomarketyourbook.com. This system will Let her Help You Find the Marketing Tools and Professionals Who Can Help You with Book Marketing. Kim is co-author of MarketAbilitys Book Marketing Profit System (now in its 6th Edition). Also visit: www.howtomarketmybook.com for more info! Brand new!


12. EPISODE10 - 2 PR Pros discuss the FOUNDATION of good publicity campaignshttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 13.52Mb)

Description: My guest this week is Kandie Delley, owner of KanDel Media. Her firm does Online Press kits, Web Content, Online Promotions including a Gospel Newsletter, Creative Consulting & Typing and Transcription Services. She is out of Dallas and is one of the premier "hot" shops providing creativity in ministry marketing! Her webiste: www.kandelmedia.com


13. EPISODE9 - 2 PR Pros discuss Internet Publicity & Book Promotions! http://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 13.43Mb)

Description: This is PART 2. There is way too much technical stuff involved with internet marketing that can overwhelm an author - so I had to invite my guest Marina Woods, Editor-in-Chief and Founder of the Goodgirl Bookclub Online.com back! She keeps it simple and give authors an overview & tips of how they can implement the internet to help increase their books sales and make more money. We will discuss how to set up websites, myspace accounts, podcasts, write ad copy that sells, auto responders, email marketing, online PR, etc. This show will sure to inspire and set authors on the road to "best seller" status! Visit Marina's website at www.goodgirlbookclubonline.com and get her Ezine. This is PART 2 of the secrets!


14. EPISODE8 - 2 PR Pros discuss Christian Fiction Publicity & Internet PR http://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.74Mb)

Description: There is way too much technical stuff involved with internet marketing that can overwhelm an author. My guest tonight, Marina Woods, Editor-in-Chief and Founder of the Goodgirl Bookclub Online.com, will keep it simple and give authors an overview & tips of how they can implement the internet to help increase their books sales and make more money. We will discuss how to set up websites, myspace accounts, podcasts, write ad copy that sells, auto responders, email marketing, online PR, etc. This show will sure to inspire and set authors on the road to "best seller" status! Visit Marina's website at www.goodgirlbookclubonline.com and get her Ezine.


15. EPISODE7 - 2 PR Pros discuss publicity in the Gospel Music industryhttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 17.50Mb)

Description: My guest tonight is Bil Carpenter of Capital Entertainment. He is a music journalist who has written for a dozen publications, including People magazine and the Washington Post. He's also served as a publicist for recording projects artists by artists such as Vickie Winans, Bishop T.D. Jakes and Andrae Crouch. Behind-the-scences music veteran Bil Carpenter's book "UNCLOUDY DAYS: THE GOSPEL MUSIC ENCYCLOPEDIA" was nominated for NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work by a debut author. Visit www.capitalentertainment.com


16. EPISODE6 - 2 PR Pros discuss Branding and the PR Process http://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 13.38Mb)

Description: My guest tonight is Candace Reese from Envision PR out of ATL . Her services rendered include, but are not limited to Publicist, Multi-media buyer, Advertising Agent, Consulting, Image Branding, Promotions, Event Marketing/Management, Community Relations and Media editing. Envision currently represents: Jeffrey Johnson?media mogul, social activist, CEO of Truth is Power consultancy group, founder of My Nation Online and BET personality from The Jeff Johnson Chronicles, Rap City and The Chop Up; Ephren Taylor II?wealth engineer and Hip-Hop Philanthropist, CEO of Amorocorp & City Capital Corporation. We will discuss: "What is branding? How do I get a brand and how do I build on it? How do get major media to notice me and what strategies can I do right now to brand my business or ministry?"


17. EPISODE5 - 2 PR Pros: How to get Major Media Coveragehttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.87Mb)

Description: Pam Perry will be hosting Annie Jennings of Annie Jennings PR discussing: What does a publicist do anyway? How can I get major media to 'get out there'? How much does a publicist charge typically? And how can I tell if the publicity firm is a match for my book/ministry or product? When should I hire a publicist?


18. EPISODE4 - 2 PR Pros discuss "How to Do It Yourself"http://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 13.16Mb)

Description: Pam Perry will host PR PRO Phyllis Caddell-M. She is the author of "Do It Yourself Publicity: For those too cheap or too broke to hire a publicist." They will discuss Phyllis' book & how to gain media attention, land a TV appearance, pitch, create & implement a publicity campaign, write a press release, pitch letter and produce a complete press kit...and MORE. This one you don't want to miss. FREE PR TIPS...chime in and ask us anything. Visit www. phylliscaddell.com for more info and get the 115 PR tips booklet to Brand Your Ministry visit www.MinistryMarketingSolutions.com


19. EPISODE3 - 2 PR Pros discuss the "X" Generation and Ministry Marketinghttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.40Mb)

Description: Iris Hoskins, publisher of GXL Magazine and Pam Perry will discuss media and ministry. GXL MAGAZINE, an on-line Christian source connecting this generation to GOD, PEOPLE and BUSINESS. Our content appeals to the generation in their 20's to 40's as we indulge into real life issues, spirit led talk and today's entertainment. Our purpose is to bring a medium that is not boxed into a phrase that negatively defines this generation. But to redefined what this generation is all about.


20. EPISODE2 - 2 PR Pros discuss publicity in the Gospel Communityhttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.07Mb)

Description: 2 PR Pros Pam Perry and Andrea R. Williams discuss the need to help publicize what was happening in the gospel community. Williams said, "When I entered the gospel music industry, it was a learning process for me. In my desire to find out all I could about the industry, I located a wealth of information. But it seemed to me that it wasn't being shared. I felt there was so much information I knew was vital to many who felt the call of God on their lives to enter music ministry. It was at that point that I felt compelled to share what I had learned with others," says Williams. Her company is stellar and called Tehillah Enterprises. Emmy-Award winner,Pam Perry, "The PR Coach" will host, see www.MinistryMarketingSolutions.com for more info on her author clients.


21. EPISODE1 - 2 PR Pros discuss the Do's & Don't of PRhttp://recordings.talkshoe.com... download (audio/mpeg, 12.06Mb)

Description: Pam Purifoy, of PR Communications Group, is my first guest. PR Pro Pam, as she is affectionately known, is the quintessential communicator and story teller. Her firm offers public relations counsel and implementation, crisis communications management and has a speakers and entertainment bureau, where clients can showcase their talent via the Internet to the world. In honor of National Mentor Month, this show of 2 PR pros will give you the "in's & out's" plus the "do's & don'ts" of great book publicity. Learn how to put together a great press kits, secure media contacts and write back cover copy of books so they sell!

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Ministry Marketing Solutions, Inc./ 248.426-2300 MARKETING THE MESSAGE

www.MinistryMarketingSolutions.com www.myspace.com/pamperryprcoach
Farmington MI 48336

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